Tonight I’m feeling a bit depressed. I now remember why I haven’t gone out since I got pregnant. Now that I’m starting to show my whole world seems to be changing. Every time I think I have fully adapted, I receive a slap in the face that makes me feel like I’m starting over from scratch.
I went to a friend’s birthday party. It was at this overpriced restaurant and I was barely able to eat my meal but I didn’t go there for that, I went there for my friend. Everyone wants to talk about my pregnancy and ask me all these questions that I have no clue as to the answer.
As we were leaving, I contemplated going dancing at the club but then I thought what’s the point, my feet hurt, I felt fat, and I was having a mid pregnancy crisis. I had realized that after all this my life will permanently be changed. My life is going to be changed forever and this included sacrifice.
I’m feeling scared an alone. What have I done? Can I really handle this? Will I be a good mother? Am I a horrible person for feeling this way so far into things? I'm most scared that I will never find someone. That I’ll end up that sad and lonely cat lady who waits by the phone for updates from their child because I have absolutely no life of my own.
Tonight was the most depressing thing I’ve done – ever!
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12 comments:
Hey girl, it's been a long time.. After reading your post i want to tell you that you will be an amazing mom... I don't know how you feel and I will never say I do.. I think this time comes for a lot of mothers. So, yeah for what it is worth, i am here when you want to talk....
Thank you so much for the kind words! It means a lot to me!
And things are going much better today. It was just a tough, sad emotional weekend!
Well I am glad to hear things got better for you.. Can't wait to see pics of the baby... You should be close to finding out what sex it is right? And are you?
I am new here but I hope all is better today. I am the father if 3 boys and watched both of my women's up and downs. Yes I said both..no not mormon, first married at 19 so guess how that one ended ;-)
Everything you're feeling is normal. You will be great. *hugs*
um, I know you got a lot going on in your life, but, I will be damned if I don't post on this... I hope all is good? I hope you are doing well.... And I will continue to post on this till you come back....
I am back, and doing what I said I would, soooooo, la, la, la, la, te, da, da, da, la, la, la, la, la, and so on, and so forth.. Hey, can't wait till your next post.....
Sorry to hear this...Hope this weekend your doing much better...Please, don't stop to post & share your thoughts as unclekracker26 said. It helps.
I trully hold second to God is the "mother"...nothing even comes close to it. U have made huge decision, which was the right one for U and will be happier in the future that U have made...
Stay cool and keep your head-up, life has many angles and these angles is what makes us strong or break-us down...You're very strong and will get over this....
Thank you so much Dem! I hope you are doing well too.
Ok, I am back again and a little um, yeah, where oh where has Ren gone? Well, IT'S A GIRL FOR US!!!! Holy shit, a girl... Um, just thought I would let you know... Her name will be Kennedy....
Um, hey?!?!?! Hi! Hello! Um ok.. Bye....
I know, I know... It's been a few days... Um, hey, and your missed....
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