Pizza Luce

Preface - I wrote this when I got home from the party and to protect the authenticity of this post, I'm leaving it with all the spelling/grammatical errors!

I went to Pizza Luce tonight. It was a good friends birthday party and we all had way to much to drink. I thought the best thing to do was to have everyone eat. Of course I just watched them all eat the greasy pizza and took bites of the salad I ordered.

There were these guys next to our table. One guy was really attractive but he was with a beautiful girl so I was careful not to flirt too much. I overheard him say, "That cute girl with the green jacket is smiling at me" and I looked over. We made eye contact and he asked me, "Were you smiling at me?".

I'm not quite sure what came over me but I said, "This is a sad night for us...". He asked why and I told him that I was celebrating the loss of my ex. I told him that my ex used to take me here and I wanted to come back to remember him. He got really quite and said, "I'm sorry, I will let you be".

Yes that is what I wanted but then it dawned on me, I was reflecting on a loss and well that place does remind me of him. I know it was wrong of me to say someone died when really then only died in my heart but that was the only way I knew how to describe how I was feeling.

Shits a small world after all!

Ok so just when I thought I've already attracted all the freaks, I am proven wrong, yet again!!! I met this guy a while back playing poker and he asked for my number. I usually never ever give out my real number at a bar/club but he asked me for it in the middle of my game so I must have screwed up and given him the real number.

He's called me like 4 times and I've never returned his calls. Anyways today I got two calls from a number that I didn't know but I was really busy with work. This number appeared again at around 7pm and I needed a break anyways so I answered.

I've had a long day so I wasn't all that excited to chat as it was. He proceeded to tell me that he just won 10K at the casino. I, being a gambler, got excited for him and congratulated him. He then tells me that he's going to pay my rent next month and at first I'm obviously hesitant. I'm schooled enough in the ways of men to know that nothing is really free. Then I thought, screw it, if he really wants to pay my rent, go right ahead!!! It's not like I have to do anything for it, RIGHT???

So he asks me what I'm doing and I tell him I'm working and have had a long day. Then he wants to know if I'm interested in making another thousand dollars on top of my rent. The first thing I asked him is what I'd have to do for it.

Ok, brace yourself for what comes next because I've never in my entire life ever been prepared for a serious question such as this...


He wants to know if I will tie him up and defecate on his face.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GROSS, and of course I immediately say no. I asked him if he was kidding. He then said, "You mean, you wouldn't do it?".

Yeah, um I think that's about the time I hung up the phone and realized I really am in dating hell!!